Category: Personal Journey

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

by bridewitt ♥ 3 Comments

Well, we did it. We made it through 2020, a year no one could have ever expected. A year that we were all “safer at home” and “socially distanced.” A year in which we all struggled as a collective against a common enemy and were challenged on a personal level as well.

It’s easy to look back on this as a very difficult year, but for me it was also a year of major growth, learning, and finding love. Love for myself, my partner, my family and friends, and even for strangers. A year to prioritize my health, both physically and mentally. A year to allow many tears and also to find joy in the most ordinary of days.

I’m actually unable to hold back tears thinking of all we went through this year with such little reprieve. To go through cancer on top of it all was just ridiculous, honestly. So, I am grateful to sit here and reflect on the highs and lows of 2020. I am even more grateful to be able to look ahead to the ordinary joys, the eventual hugs, and the lessons that 2021 will bring.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but on my 30th birthday last year, I kept feeling that 2020 would be a big year. Not like the “best year ever” kind of year, but the kind where you’re challenged in all the important ways. I usually decide on a word that symbolizes my intentions for the year, and I just couldn’t pick one last year, but as the second quarter of the year began with COVID and a cancer diagnosis, I found myself always coming back to a Japanese phrase I learned a few years ago:

And so that’s what I’ve done this year. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and doing the best I could to get through each day. Trust me, some days were better than others and there were many days that I had to ask for help. So to those of you who prayed for me, who let me cry with you on the phone, who laughed with me on zoom calls, who sent cards and letters, who wore masks & socially distanced to protect the immunocompromised – I am incredibly thankful for you.

A few highlights from this year:
Getting to spend a whole month with my mom in Hawaii. Staycations. Cooking at home and learning new recipes. Being outside more often. Meeting new people (mainly my excellent medical team and an incredible group of cancer thrivers). Growing closer to my husband as we rounded out our second year of marriage and head into our third. Working on my Pilates certification. New babies. Friends getting married. Learning my own strength.

I won’t dwell on the lows, but I will remember how much I learned from them. This year my word is JOY. I hope to find more joy in each day, be more present, and celebrate every little victory. There will be setbacks, I’m sure of it, but if I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that they can be overcome. Wishing you all a happy, healthy, safe new year and sending you so much love and gratitude.

Cheers to 2021! ❤

A Fertility Update

A Fertility Update

by bridewitt ♥ 3 Comments

How it’s going…

You may remember me posting a while back about the different ways I tried to protect my fertility as I prepared to start chemotherapy. First, I froze some eggs. In case I’m unable to conceive naturally later, I can use them for IVF. I also started monthly Zoladex injections – a medication that halts ovarian function in an attempt to preserve fertility overall.

And so, at age 31, I’ve been in a Zoladex-induced menopause since June. Six whole months later, my estrogen levels have tanked and my joints ache like I’m an 100-year-old lady! Some other fun side effects include amenorrhea (lack of a period), hot flashes, and dyspareunia. So, I’m currently staying as active as possible (mostly walking and stretching when I have the energy) in order to mitigate some of those side effects, and thankfully, my oncologist and I decided it was time to discontinue the Zoladex now that the bulk of treatment is behind me. Today marks one month since my last injection!

For more detailed info about fertility preservation, you can read my earlier post here.

What to expect now?

Typically, the menstrual cycle can take a few months to return as the body figures out its new normal once again. As I have some previous experience with amenorrhea after I came off the birth control pill in 2019, I know that what I eat will play a huge role in how quickly my body gets back to normal. Thus, the plant-based diet continues (plus no dairy, processed sugars, or alcohol) and I will try my absolute hardest to cut back on caffeine to keep my nervous system calm.

I also plan to use seed cycling to help my body regulate the essential hormones it needs for menstruation and ovulation. This is a great article about how to do seed cycling if you’re interested in learning more. Seed cycling is an excellent, natural way to balance hormones, however if you have hormone-positive cancer, please ask your doctor if a daily dose of phytoestrogens is safe for you!

Once I’ve completed radiation therapy, I’ll speak with my medical oncologist and OB/GYN about when it will be safe to start trying to conceive. With that said, I think my body deserves a long break to heal completely before that all happens. Actually, this might be a good time to kindly remind you that it’s just not acceptable to ask a person when they plan to have children. A person’s body is their own to make decisions for and, sometimes, people aren’t capable or willing to have children at all.

My goal for this blog has always been to be as open and honest about my experiences as possible in the hopes that whoever may be reading this can gain some insight for their own health and wellness. Personally, I don’t think there’s ever TMI (too much information) disclosed when it comes to learning about your own body and how it works. This coming from a pelvic floor PT who talks about poop all day… Anyway, I’d love to know what questions you have about:

  • fertility preservation during cancer treatments
  • long-term side effects of the birth control pill
  • nutrition around hormone balance
  • seed cycling

Drop your Q’s in the comments below!

Rad.

Rad.

by bridewitt ♥ 4 Comments

I had my consultation with my radiation oncologist yesterday which went well. Dr. Tsuji spent well over an hour with me taking my history and explaining the process and side effects of radiation therapy. It’s always extra comforting when a physician comes in having already reviewed your chart and having an individualized plan in mind.

Although I had an excellent response to chemo and the post-surgical pathology shows that there was no residual cancer in the tumor bed or the lymph nodes, radiation is important with breast-conserving surgeries to get rid of any cancer cells that may remain in other areas of the breast that weren’t removed (as they would have been in a mastectomy). So, Dr. Tsuji recommends 4 weeks of whole-breast radiation (no axillary radiation since nodes were clear) with a boost to the tumor bed. After everything’s been set up, I’ll go for radiation 5 days per week, likely starting the 2nd or 3rd week of January.

Birthday stay-cation! Thankful to have many options to “get away” in Honolulu!

The side effects of radiation therapy are fatigue, which generally increases as the treatment progresses, and skin irritation which is basically like a bad sun burn. With radiation to the breast, the radiation oncologist takes as much precaution as possible to minimize radiation to the lungs and the heart. One way to protect them is to perform a breath hold during the treatment to raise the breast tissue away from the organs as the lungs expand and so we may see how that goes when I do my simulation in a few weeks.

I also need to be sure my left arm range of motion improves before I can start radiation since I’ll likely be positioned lying on my back with my hands behind my head. I can get there now, but it’s not at all comfortable due to the cording. My PT did work on it last week and it got significantly better after just one treatment, but it’s not quite there yet so I have some goals in the next few weeks!

I’ll see my oncologist on Thursday for a post-surgical follow up and planning and will see my surgeon after that to have my bandages removed from my port surgery. Thankfully, all is going well and everything is healing up nicely. Overall, I’m feeling well but definitely looking forward to being able to be more active again. I’m thankful to be on the last stretch of treatment and starting the new year cancer free!

Aloha ❤

Birthday Week

Birthday Week

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

Yesterday was my 31st birthday, and I’ve been feeling so grateful to have made it to this day. I can remember the night before my 30th birthday last year so vividly, and I just knew that this year would be big in so many ways. It has been one of the most challenging years for me personally, as well as physically, but I have learned so much about myself and Justin and I have grown deeply in our relationship. With that said, all the learning was great, but I’m ready to leave 30 in the dust. This year, I’ll celebrate my birthday, looking forward to the year ahead (cancer free!) and I’ll celebrate all that I’ve accomplished this year with the help of everyone I love.

We had a great time celebrating my birthday yesterday (my mom always knows how to make birthdays very special), but this morning, Justin & I dropped her off at the airport even though I tried really hard to convince her to move here (or at least stay through Christmas). It was so nice to have her here and we were able to have plenty of good dinner chats, walks, coffee dates and couch parties binging Schitt’s Creek. I’m looking forward to getting back to Montana next year sometime to see her and the rest of the fam again.

Mama ❤

I went to take my 3rd COVID test today. I needed to do a rapid test because – surprise! I am having my port removed tomorrow! I had really been hoping this would have been removed with my lumpectomy, but it was left just in case there was any residual cancer or other IV treatment required. So tomorrow that little guy is coming out, and I don’t think I’ll miss it!

I’ll have a consultation with my radiation oncologist on Monday next week and will decide on a plan for radiation. I will likely need several weeks of radiation to eliminate any rogue cancer cells (should they exist) in the breast tissue that was not removed during surgery. I’ll update as I know more.

Otherwise, I’m still recovering from surgery (today I’m 2 weeks post-op). Swelling has been less in my arm, but I am developing a “cord” which I can feel from my armpit to my wrist. Cording, also known as axillary web syndrome, is common after a lymph node removal procedure and is a sign of scarring along a lymphatic vessel. It is thankfully treatable, but right now it’s painful and limits my range of motion in my left arm. I’ve been working on some lymphatic drainage techniques including lymphatic massage and exercise, and I think that as my shoulder mobility improves and I can get in to see my PT, the cording should resolve.

Delicious birthday din at Istanbul!

With Christmas only a few weeks away, Justin & I are busy putting gifts together (I am always a last minute gift buyer) and preparing for the end of the year. I am hoping to be able to transition back to some light duty work until I can treat patients again so we’ll see what happens with that. I may update a little bit on the blog over the holidays, but will likely be a bit quiet, so I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday season with your families!

Aloha ❤

GratiTuesday

GratiTuesday

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

It seems like time is moving so slowly some days during this pandemic, and yet here we are in Thanksgiving week already. Though 2020 has had it’s detours, I can honestly say there has been more to be grateful for this year than ever.

Yesterday, I went in for my pre-surgery blood work and COVID testing. In all honesty, my white count was still quite low and I was pretty sure we were going to have to bump my surgery, but my surgeon and oncologist agreed that it’s high enough to proceed on Friday so today, I’m most grateful not to have to delay. My COVID test was also negative – not surprising since I never go out without a mask on or practicing social distancing. That immunocompromised life, though…

Peep that 4-week post-chemo hair growth!

My mom has been here for a little over a week now and it’s been so nice having her here. Thankfully, she’s been up for trying all of our vegan cooking, walking almost daily, and watching plenty of The Crown and Holiday Baking Championship. We were lucky enough to be able to have a little stay-cation at Aulani Resort thanks to my mom’s colleague, and we had a really nice time relaxing by the beach and pools.

I know that it would be easy to look back on the last 9 months and say what a shit show this year has been between COVID restrictions and a cancer diagnosis, but what I’d rather remember from this year is the simple, day-to-day moments that are the true blessings in life.

I’m grateful for the way my husband has stepped up more than I ever could have expected he would after my diagnosis (I should have known better, though…he’s the best person I know).

I’m grateful for my my mom calling and FaceTiming with me on a daily basis and who patiently waited for a safe time to come visit. For my sister, who has sent care packages, shared my posts, and called often. For my dad, who’s been calling more often just to say hi and to check in on me. For my stepdad, who calls and texts me just to let me know he loves me, too.

I’m grateful for texts, calls, & vent sessions with my besties and zoom mocktail dates. For care packages and cards from my aunties. For frequent check-ins and notes from my co-workers.

I’m amazed by the empathy and integrative care I’ve received from my doctors and healthcare providers this year who are doing their jobs excellently while dealing with added considerations from a pandemic.

I’ve enjoyed trying new plant-based recipes and taking an extended break from alcohol and processed sugar. I was lucky to get to work with fun nurses and to be able to give people good news while working safely from home. I’ve been able to walk outside often and to improve my Pilates skills at home.

If I can sum it all up, I’d say that I’m most grateful for my people who make this life so beautiful. We all have a responsibility to each other, and with all that has gone on for me personally this year, I urge you to be kind to one another and take care of each other as best you can.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends! Take a moment to write down what you’re grateful for this year!

Aloha ❤

Surgery Update

Surgery Update

by bridewitt ♥ 2 Comments

Hey everyone- hope you’re all having a good week! I had a few people text me about the results of my MRI & surgery consult so I figured I better update you!

I did my MRI two weeks ago and they took images with and without contrast. The good news is that the mass that was present on the ultrasound did not “light up” on the MRI so we’re hopeful that small mass is just scar tissue rather than residual cancer cells. However, we will not know for sure until the mass is removed and sent to pathology after surgery.

I met with my surgeon on Monday, and we agreed to go forward with breast-conserving surgery (aka “lumpectomy”). She will also do a sentinel lymph node biopsy to be sure there is no cancer in the lymph nodes. We are planning for surgery on November 27 as long as my pesky white blood cell count comes back up – it was really low last week again. I better enjoy my Thanksgiving dinner because no eating after midnight!

From what I know now, I’ll check in early in the morning and will have a radioactive dye injected into my left breast. The dye traces the circulation from the tumor itself to the lymph nodes. The surgeon will then remove the first node to which the tumor drains as well as any other lymph nodes which may contain cancer cells.

Once the nodes are removed, they are sent to pathology to determine how many contain cancerous cells. If there are cancerous cells in a majority of the nodes, the surgeon may choose to remove additional nodes while I’m still under anesthesia. Otherwise, she will remove the mass and that will be that!

The recovery should be relatively “easy” as I should only have 2 small incisions and no precautions or drains like I would have if I opted for a mastectomy with reconstruction. I should mention that I’m not choosing a mastectomy for several reasons:

  • I do not have a BRCA gene mutation, therefore my risk of a local recurrence and my overall cancer survival rate is not affected by choosing a more conservative surgery.
  • As a rehab professional, I am well aware that a mastectomy is a MAJOR surgery, and the recovery is more difficult and the healing timeline can be longer.
  • Had I chosen mastectomy, I would have likely chosen to have reconstruction as well which would require multiple additional surgeries & I just don’t have the energy for all of that!

Breast-conserving surgery is my personal choice based on what I know about my cancer now. There are many reasons why someone else would choose a mastectomy. Everyone’s situation is very different so just because this seems to be the right option for me doesn’t mean it’s the right (or best) option for someone else.

I will need radiation after surgery as well and I’ll be referred to a radiation oncologist to determine the plan. I’m also going to see my PT colleague for pre-operative lymphedema measures so I have a baseline to compare to after surgery.

2 weeks Post-chemo Faux-Hawk!

My hair and eyebrows are growing in nicely! In fact, I can almost make a baby mohawk. For 3 weeks post-chemo, I’m pretty excited about that! With my eyelashes growing in, my eyes have become super irritated, but I will be SO thankful to have lashes again! I miss mascara!

If you have any questions for me about surgery, lymphedema risk, or anything related to breast cancer or physical therapy – leave a comment for me below!

Hop you all have a great weekend! My mom will be here in two days! How lucky am I?!

Aloha ❤

Hopeful Updates and a Quick PSA!

Hopeful Updates and a Quick PSA!

by bridewitt ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Well, about 10 days have passed since my last chemo (still celebrating!), and I thought I’d update everyone on the emotional roller coaster that was the last week. It’s been surprisingly eventful!

I took the past week off to get a few appointments and scans done. I forgot to update on this, but on my last day of chemo last week, my manager at work notified me that we’ll be closing our COVID negative results call center at the end of this week (Nov. 7). It’s not lost on me how lucky I was to be able to have work through this pandemic, especially a safe job that I was able to do from home. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that chemo and that job will be ending at the same time. Time to start thinking about going back to some patient care (eventually)!

On Wednesday, I repeated my mammogram and ultrasound. Mammo was quick & easy but the tech was running behind so didn’t say much about anything she might’ve seen on the images. I’m able to see the ultrasound, however, and it was clear that there continues to be a small mass (6mm – about 1/3 the size of my original tumor) still remaining in my left breast. The poor ultrasound tech probably felt weird with me reading over her shoulder because she called in the radiologist who reminded me that the MRI would give more information. Because the MRI is done with contrast dye, any cancer cells will light up on the image. If no “lights,” then the mass may just be scar tissue.

Thursday morning, I had my MRI, and then in the afternoon I went in to my oncologist’s office for (hopefully) my last Zoladex injection (#SaveTheOvaries). I ran into my oncology APRN there and he printed the impression from my mammo & ultrasound for me and just casually mentioned, “The MRI showed nothing.” I won’t really believe it until I see the words on paper, and don’t worry I’ve been obsessively opening MyChart to see if the results are online. Not yet. Still, not yet. But I’m currently taking his word for it just so I can sleep at night.

Quick PSA: If you have “dense” or “very dense” breasts, a mammogram can be less accurate at detecting tumors or calcifications in the breast. You should talk with your doctor about what other imaging can be done to be sure nothing is ever missed!
I’m going to post pictures below of my mammogram and ultrasound impressions to give you an example.

Otherwise, yesterday was Halloween, and I couldn’t miss a chance to dress up again! (Last year we landed in Japan at midnight on Halloween, and I wasn’t packing a costume with me.) Last night, Justin & I were able to get together for a socially distant dinner with his sister and her boyfriend which was so fun and I’m looking forward to getting to see more friends and family now that I won’t be so immunocompromised. We also got to make a quick pit stop at our friends’ place to see their new baby so all is right in the world ❤

And, as today is November 1, we are celebrating el Dia de los Muertos and reminding you to #FeelItOnTheFirst!! The first of the month is the perfect time for you do your monthly breast/chest self-exam!

Check yoself!

Due to COVID, breast cancer diagnoses are down by 51.8% — NOT because less people are getting cancer, but because they aren’t going in for their appointments! DO NOT DELAY your mammograms and OB/GYN appointments – your doctors and clinics are doing everything they can to keep you safe during this time. It could save your life!
*Remember: Men can get breast cancer, too, so encourage the men in your life to do their screenings!

With Breast Cancer Awareness Month coming to a close, please remember that breast cancer research does not stop needing support at the end of October and cancer survivors do no stop needing support once they’re “cured.” The fear of recurrence and survivorship in general evoke just as many emotions as the diagnosis and treatment. Treat everyone with a little grace and consider donating to cancer research if you have the means. I outlined some great breast cancer organizations in my previous post.

In case you’re following my Instagram page (@bri.d.pt), my sister-in-law Marisa & I had a great conversation about the inevitable thoughts of death/dying after receiving a cancer diagnosis or terminal illness. Check it out! If you’re interested in an intuitive angel card reading with Marisa, you can book one here!

I hope you all have a great week! Please stay healthy and safe, wear your masks, and wash your hands! Going into the holiday season, we want to be able to spend time with family and friends so the safer, the better!

Aloha ❤

The Final Round

The Final Round

by bridewitt ♥ 7 Comments

Celebrating with tears of joy today after finishing my last chemo yesterday. 16 rounds over 20 weeks. Conquering the Red Devil and getting through taxol without neuropathy are major victories, and I’m feeling so relieved to be DONE! I could not have done it without all of your support.

There’s still more treatment ahead, but I’m feeling I can manage anything now that chemo is behind me. I am so grateful to God and for all of the love of my family and friends and this great little breast cancer community I’ve found on Instagram that have gotten me through the past 5 months.

Last infusion day!

I will still receive two GCSF injections to boost my white blood cells this week as my oncologist doesn’t want me too immunocompromised in this COVID life we’re all living in. Then, I’ll re-test my labs in two weeks including a thyroid panel and vitamin D screen that I asked for. My oncologist has been really great about letting me lead my care to some extent and not just telling me what we’re going to do each week. Honestly, I wish every doctor were like that. I am so grateful for her and my whole team of docs who’ve listened to my concerns and took action immediately throughout this whole process.

Next week, I am scheduled to repeat my breast ultrasound, mammogram, and MRI to see where I’m at post-chemo. I am still unable to feel the tumor, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have a bit of “scanxiety” about the slight possibility that there’s still something there or that the tumor will grow again being off chemo for several weeks before surgery. Please send prayers for good results!

No more ice booties & mittens! Bye taxol. Not gonna miss you.

I’ll meet with my surgeon on November 9, and will hopefully be able to get in for surgery before Thanksgiving. I’m still leaning toward breast-conserving surgery (a lumpectomy) which means I’ll do radiation for several weeks after recovering from surgery. I’ve done a lot of research on different types of surgeries and, besides my intuition telling me not to go for the more aggressive approaches, the research actually backs me up on that decision. For women with similar early-stage cancer to mine, the 5-year survival rate is 94.3% for breast-conserving surgery, 93.3% for mastectomy alone, and 83.7% for mastectomy with radiation.1

I am also biased in that I know that recovery from a mastectomy is really challenging and the complications can be much greater. To have further breast reconstruction on top of that would take multiple surgeries, and honestly, I’m just ready to move on from cancer in so many ways. I know it will always be a part of me, but treatment can end sooner than later if I go this route!

Celebrating with a little lemon crunch cake from Diamond Head Market – heaven! Cute hair, huh?

For now, I’m going to rest and celebrate being done with the hardest part of this little bump in the road. My mom will finally be down to visit in a few weeks and I’m looking forward to that! I wrote down a few things I want to remember from this experience so far and I’ll share a few of them with you here:

  • Faith in God is all you need to conquer anything.
  • The people you love are the most important thing in your life – tell them you love them often and mean it.
  • Find the immense joy in your daily life – there’s no need to search far and wide for it.
  • Spend time in nature – in quiet, being active, barefoot if you can.
  • Know and trust your body. Know that it’s strong and demands to be respected and understood.

Learning you have breast cancer at age 30 isn’t in anyone’s plans for life, and being diagnosed with one of the most aggressive forms of breast cancer doesn’t make it any easier. I want to remind you all that if you think something is off with your body, get it checked out. Don’t take no for an answer from your doctor. You’re not “too young.” You’re not overreacting. YOU are the only one that knows your body well enough to decide if something is off.

I love you all. Thank you for being with me on this ride.

Aloha ❤

Round 14

Round 14

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

Just wanted to give a quick update (for those of you who aren’t so interested in my pelvic floor posts)! I finished my 10th TC treatment today – my 14th chemo overall! Last week my white counts were so good I didn’t have to do any Zarxio injections, but this week my neutrophils were < 1.0 (which is normally the cutoff point to delay chemo until counts are more stable).

My wonderful oncologist called me to ask what I wanted to do. Obviously, neither of us want to delay chemo when I’m this close to being DONE. So we decided to re-test my counts this morning before treatment. Thankfully, my counts came back up to 2.08 (the power of prayer is real, my friends)!

So, we went ahead with chemo and so far all is well. I have two more rounds left. Still no signs of the tumor that got me into this mess. Repeat scans are scheduled for the last week of October, and I’m manifesting PCR (pathologic complete response – aka NO MORE CANCER)! Please say a few prayers for me if you will.

Once my scans come back, I’ll decide which surgery feels right to go forward with, and I’ll likely meet with a radiation oncologist to decide if radiation is necessary dependent on the surgery I choose. A more conservative surgery (lumpectomy or partial mastectomy) will likely require radiation, but potentially if I go with a modified radical mastectomy and there is no lymph node involvement, I may be able to do less (or ideally no) radiation treatments. As usual, I’ll have to weigh the pros and cons here. Wish me luck!

The steroids are giving me some chubby cheeks,
but life is good.

I will say that today I found myself reflecting on the past 4 1/2 months and realized that in all of the “getting after it,” I haven’t really given myself much credit for how intense this all has been and how much Justin and I have been through. I’m so thankful for my mom who calls everyday and my family and friends who check in and send cards and care packages. I’m so grateful for all of you, and I love you all so much! I honestly couldn’t do it without you.

Sending you all love and hope that you’re staying safe during these COVID times. Please remember to vote your little hearts out before or on November 3!

Aloha ❤

Round 12

Round 12

by bridewitt ♥ 4 Comments

Well, another week or so has passed! I had my 12th (8th taxol) treatment last Thursday and that means I’m 3/4 of the way through chemo. I am getting ahead of myself a little bit with the countdown and keep finding myself saying things like “only 3 left after this week,” but who can blame me?

By the time I’m done with chemo at the end of October, I’ll have been in treatment for a full 5 months. Everything goes fast and slow at the same time. I’m going a little bit stir crazy working from home, working out at home, getting most of my social interaction from home (thanks, FaceTime & Zoom) as I know most of you are, too. I’m thankful we’re starting to re-open beaches, trails and business this week so I’ll have some more opportunity to get out of my dang apartment! Island fever is a real thing, and I’m really looking forward to travelling again when my health and the COVID situation is more stable.

For the past few weeks I’ve been having some rib pain on my left side. My physical therapist brain feels that it’s postural from sitting so much, but my cancer patient brain tells me to be more cautious as it could be one of several other things including bone pain from my zarxio injections, a rib fracture (although I didn’t specifically injure my ribs, all the weekly steroids and injections do put me at risk for lower bone density), or, in absolute worst case scenario, a metastasis to my ribs. My oncology APRN and I agreed to monitor it and if pain becomes worse we’ll do a new scan. It’s getting better with stretching and doing more standing or lying flat so I think all is going to be okay.

FYI – “cancer pain” (pain from a tumor or metastasis) typically follows a unique pattern. Often, pain is worst at night or will wake you up in the middle of the night (for some people, it wakes them at the same time every night). Cancer pain is not resolved with changing your position or stretching typically. Over time, cancer pain usually becomes consistent or unrelenting. Anyone with active cancer or a history of cancer should be aware of pain anywhere in their body and consult their doctor as soon as possible if the pain follows any of these patterns. You can see my other post here about cancer warning signs for other symptoms that might accompany pain.

Always something to be grateful for!

Also, in the past few weeks I’ve been diving a little deeper into the Native Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono which translates to “to make right twice (with self & others).” I stumbled upon this after doing a tapping meditation based on Louise Hay’s work. Louise believed that cancer can be related to a deep resentment held in the body and she suggests healing your relationships with others as part of a cancer journey.

Ho’oponopono is the ancient Hawaiian way of resolving conflict and issues within a family but also applies to government or individual relationships. It is the process of forgiveness and making right relationships that have gone wrong. The process of Ho’oponopono can be done with a mediator who is the go-between for the two individuals or parties, but it can also be done individually with mindfulness and meditation on the relationship.

As part of my tapping and meditation, I’ve been using the common Ho’oponopono meditation which is as follows:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

I envision the person with whom my relationship requires healing as I’m meditating. This process has been very freeing and beautiful to me. I urge you to try it and to read this article and this article to learn more if you’re interested. Having cancer has put me on a journey to learn more about myself and I think Ho’oponopono is one of the most healing practices I’ve learned so far.

On a fun note, my hair is slowly starting to grow back in, although it’s only baby hairs. At the same time, my eyebrows and lashes are pretty much gone now. I’m looking forward to all of that renewal post-chemo, too! Hope you all are having a great week! I’m looking forward to posting a lot more PT and breast cancer content in October as it’s both National Physical Therapy Month and Breast Cancer Awareness Month so STAY TUNED!!

Aloha ❤