Category: Personal Journey

Been There. Doing That.

Been There. Doing That.

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

This post is just proof I’m still kicking…actually, the past few months have been a total blur! Get busy livin’ or die trying (as they say)!

In July, Justin and I adopted our first fur-baby, Indy, and we’ve been having fun being cat parents and learning how to be responsible for another tiny life. He’s the sweetest and it’s ADORABLE to see my husband be a “cat dad.” We also got to see Jack Johnson’s Kokua Festival with our friends. There’s just something so nostalgic about Jack’s music that always brings me back to simpler times. All the feels!

I N D Y Y Y !
My sis & I at Manoa Falls hike!
Witnessing Justin’s business
partner’s marriage!

August started off with a visit from my whole, wonderful fam! It may have been slightly interrupted by a few of us catching COVID, but we did our best to have a great time all together. I love hanging with my nephews and nieces and seeing them grow into the coolest kiddos.

After two and a half years, I officially completed my mat Pilates certification. I hope to be teaching some group classes in the near, near future (stay tuned!). Being the crazy person that I am, I jumped right into the Pilates equipment training (unplanned), and eventually I’ll be able to teach on the reformer, Cadillac, chair, and all the other wild equipment invented by Joe Pilates 100-some years ago. I’m extremely grateful to Pilates O Ka La owner, Chelsea Peck, for her guidance and patience with me as I navigated training through my diagnosis and treatment in 2020. I don’t really believe in coincidences, and I know that having the mat routine to keep me active during treatment was more than just chance. If you’re ever on Oahu, go take a class at Chelsea’s gorgeous studio!

Then, just in case I didn’t have enough going on, I also started on adjunct faculty at Hawaii Pacific University’s new Doctor of Physical Therapy program. I assisted with cadaver lab (yes, I dissected human bodies). It is and always has been a very humbling experience to learn from these donors who so graciously give their earthly bodies to those of us learning. I learn so much more now that I’ve been practicing for several years, and I also realize how much I still don’t know! I’ll be helping with their labs in October as well, and I look forward to facilitating the next generation of PTs.

September has flown by, too, but Justin and I were able to sneak up to the north shore for our 4th anniversary. We spent the whole weekend camping by the beach and it was just magical. There’s so much to be said about spending time in nature with no agenda and NO cell service! Highly recommend. Cheers to our year 5 and all the new adventures that will bring! Hopefully a trip abroad…

At this point in the year, I’m always looking forward to the holiday season, but in the present moment, I’m grateful that my hair is now officially long enough to pull back into a bun, several of my friends are about to have sweet babies join their families, and my work has been consistently fulfilling.

In the cancer realm, it’s been one of those weeks. The kind where my recent scans were squeaky clean and we celebrate, but also the kind where you learn that you lost a friend to this awful disease. The kind where another friend’s miracle post-cancer baby passed away shortly after birth. The kind where a new friend got the same diagnosis as you had. So, I just pray because what else can you really do? Give it to God and put lots of love out there.

As my friend Kate says, “If you’re very lucky, life goes on…”

And so it does.

Current hair update – 23 months post-chemo (at my new home away from home!)

As Breast Cancer Awareness month rolls around in October, please consider donating to organizations that fund breast cancer research like the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation, Metavivor, or the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. If you’d rather, you can donate money directly to someone going through treatment. Or take them a meal. Or pick up their kids from school. And if you have a survivor in your life, tell them you love them and you’re happy they’re here.

Wishing you all a great week ahead – will be in touch again soon…er or later?!

Aloha ❤

How life goes on…

How life goes on…

by bridewitt ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I’ve been meaning to make some time to write, but it’s been busy around here! 2022 feels a bit more like the pre-pandemic rat race, and I’m trying my hardest to stay present through the madness. Recently, most of my focus has been on treating patients, and though the days can be long, the weeks fly by and I’m not totally sure how it’s already nearing the end of June.

To describe a typical day at work, I usually see about 7-8 patients. I get to help people who have:

  • bladder issues (incontinence, overactive bladder, bladder pain)
  • bowel issues (constipation, fecal incontinence)
  • pelvic pain (including endometriosis, vaginismus, or vulvodynia)
  • conditions associated with pregnancy or postpartum
  • musculoskeletal, neurologic, or lymphatic conditions after breast and prostate cancer
  • dizziness/vertigo or other vestibular conditions

Did you know physical therapists can treat those conditions?! Now you know!

Despite being over 18 months out of treatment, I’m still doing a lot of healing. Some of the things I focus on include:

  • Therapy
  • Meditation/EFT Tapping
  • Exercise
  • Acupuncture
  • Infrared Sauna
  • Spending time outside
  • Connecting with friends
  • Connecting with other survivors
  • Having fun!

Because I feel like I lost a lot of strength during treatment and during the pandemic, I recently joined a 6-week women’s empowerment strength training program run by a friend that I met through a cancer fundraiser way back in 2020 (but this is the first time we’ve really met in person – isn’t that crazy!). My one fitness goal this year is to get really strong again! I also plan to participate in a 12-week exercise study run through University of Hawaii and Rehabilitation of the Pacific later this year.

Overall, things are going well. I will have some annual screening scans at the end of July. Justin and I have plans to see Jack Johnson in concert shortly after (obviously to celebrate clear scan results). Even though I’m “pretty far out,” the scanxiety still gets me so I do appreciate prayers for squeaky clean pictures when the time comes.

A few weeks ago, I’d been feeling a bit down. My body felt achy and I had little motivation. There were actually several days when I had to nap after work beause I was just exhausted. I recognized that this was unusual for me.

First, I realized that much of the overwhelm I’d been feeling was partially related to some PTSD. Trauma memories can be stored in the body and can manifest as pain and emotional distress. I finally realized that June 9 was actually 2 years from the day when I had my first chemo. So, even though I wasn’t fully aware of that “cancer-versary” this year, my body remembered. It sounds wild, I know, but I promise there’s a bunch of research to support it. If you want to learn more I suggest reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD.

Second, I had my thyroid re-tested recently and my levels were way off. I adjusted the dose of my medication and it’s been a game changer! I feel significantly better in terms of energy so I’m hoping it will stay stable. If you don’t know, the thyroid gland is a small gland in the front of the neck that regulates thyroid hormones which maintain the body’s metabolism and affect every body system including the brain, eyes, skin/hair/nails, GI system, stress response, etc. etc. etc. It’s a tiny little organ with a very big job!

So all that to say that I really am still healing. I don’t see it as a finite process. I’m not following a well-illumined path forward, but rather zigzagging through the woods trying to find a clearing. There are ups and downs, but mostly all is shifting toward wellness.

I do have some plans to sit down and cut out time to blog more regularly. I love sharing information with everyone and hope it can help others in their own healing, too. If there’s anything you’d like to learn more about in terms of cancer diagnosis, cancer treatment, pelvic floor rehab…. send your requests my way!

Aloha ❤

Another Trip

Another Trip

by bridewitt ♥ 3 Comments

Today it’s been two years since I read “consistent with invasive ductal carcinoma” on my biopsy report. The time and space between then and now is unfathomable to me. Like 100 years wrapped into 730 days. I’m both surprised at how quickly I’ve jumped back into “normal” life and at how the memories of having cancer are still woven so carefully into my daily thoughts.

It probably doesn’t help that I work with other survivors on a daily basis so I’m constantly educating and supporting those people. But it’s not just that – my port scar, the faint tan from radiation, the tightness in my chest and shoulder are all physical reminders that keep me living with one foot in regular life and one in cancerland.

April 2021
April 2022

The healing doesn’t end when treatment ends. I am seeking out ways to calm my grief and anger over the fact that I went through something so life-altering at 30 years old. I am healing physically and trying to regain a lot of strength. I have residual pain from treatments, and my body physically reacts with anxiety any time I get a scan done. I am learning how to navigate new and old friendships without oversharing or totally withdrawing from the situation.

It might sound like a lot, and it is, but I promise that I do my best not to dwell on the hard parts of survivorship. I’m thankful to have more days to continue experiencing lovely things and connecting with my favorite people. If you want to read a more about my experience in survivorship so far, you can read my essay “Trusting the Redirection” in Wildfire Magazine’s Cancer Culture Issue from February/March 2022. Use code ‘FRIENDSANDFAMILY’ for 15% off.

I also had my annual mammogram and an additional ultrasound yesterday. The results came back clear, besides the ever/never-shrinking hematoma (so dramatic!) that I developed after my MRI biopsy in November. So all is technically well, and I’ll keep celebrating these results and anniversaries for a long, long time I hope.

I honestly thought I’d have more to say when I sat down to write this, but I think I’ll just keep it short and sweet. I wish you all health and happiness and I hope you have a great week!

Aloha ❤

BCAM is BACK!

BCAM is BACK!

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

I know I’ve been terrible at keeping y’all up to date on my life lately, but that’s because I’m just busy living right now. When I look back on my life one year ago, I still have a hard time believing any of this actually happened. Cancer treatments consume your life for nearly a year (or more for some), and then you’re just done? When chatting with other survivors, we all seem to comment on how none of it seems real. We were in survival mode for so long, and when the dust finally settled, we had to come to terms with the fact that, yes, indeed, we did have cancer. What a trip!

  • September 2020
  • September 2021

Every day gets easier, but some days all the feels creep up and you don’t know whether to be sad or angry or go hide in the corner until it passes. I try not to take anything for granted, but I’m just human, too, and I often get sucked back into the usual work, sleep, eat, repeat. With that said, I’ve been making a concerted effort to go for walks by the beach, do yoga, hit up weekly farmer’s markets, and get together with friends when I can. Those things help. A lot. Make time to do things that bring you joy.

On Monday, I had my annual MRI – just a follow up scan to keep a close eye on things. Thankfully, all looks clear. There is a small area of enhancement in the same area where I mentioned I needed a biopsy back in July which already came back benign so here’s hoping I don’t need another biopsy! In my professional opinion, I’m right in the middle of tissue healing from radiation therapy, and there’s a lot of scar tissue forming right now. With that comes a lot of tightness and discomfort in my left chest wall, and I think that friction is creating a small cyst in that region.

Again, the survivorship game is not all sunshine and rainbows. While everything is technically “all good” now, sometimes it isn’t. There are a lot of things that I still need to work through, but I just choose to take it one day at a time.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

This brings me to the main point of this post which is that Breast Cancer Awareness Month is back! I personally choose to refer to BCAM as “Breast Cancer ACTION Month” as I think it’s a great time to donate to breast cancer research, reach out to family/friends you know going through cancer and offer your support, and speak up to lawmakers and organizations with power to make change in medical care for cancer patients.

October is a time of pink ribbons and shameless promotion of products that support breast cancer. Breast cancer thrivers have coined this “pinkwashing” and want to remind you to be mindful of any products you purchase this year. Any major company that claims to put proceeds to support breast cancer better be donating at least 20% of their profits to organizations that fund breast cancer research. And, if you choose to make a donation to breast cancer organizations, choose one or two that fund research primarily or that you know directly supports thrivers with care packages, financial support, or practical support (like providing free wigs, offering transportation or house cleaning, or fertility preservation assistance).

Here are a few of my favorite breast cancer organizations to support:

My BCAM Action Plan

This October, I’ll be focusing on holding the American Cancer Society accountable for their recent change in recommendations to delay annual mammogram screening for those age 45 and older. This is a recent change in recommendations and adds insult to injury to prior recs that both breast self-exams (BSE’s) and clinical breast examinations are not indicated for early detection of breast cancer. These recommendations are based off a study out of Shanghai in 2018 that indicated that more benign lesions were found on BSE’s than malignant ones, and therefore led to unnecessary procedures like imaging and biopsies. In case you can’t guess who benefits from these recommendations, let me spell it out for you…INSURANCE COMPANIES.

For adolescent and young adult (AYA) cancer thrivers (ages 15-39) who are ineligible for annual mammograms, the only way for us to detect cancer early is through BSE’s. The more frequently we do these screenings, the earlier we can seek care for any abnormal findings, and the better our prognosis if we should be very unlucky to find a malignancy. I found my lump on a BSE and it saved my life. I will advocate for BSE’s until my lungs give out. Should you feel so inclined to support this cause with me, please reach out to the American Cancer Society via phone/chat or social media to let them know how you feel about this!

I’ll also be sharing a bit on social media about how PT can be helpful before, during, and after cancer treatment because October is also National Physical Therapy Month. Follow me on Instagram for more – @bri.d.pt!

Beyond that, October is my favorite month, so I’m going to get some Halloween decorations out and get ready for Spooky Season! Maybe I’ll pull out the old purple wig for Halloween this year, too! Stay well, friends!

Aloha ❤

365

365

by bridewitt ♥ 2 Comments

It’s been one whole trip around the sun since we read the dreaded pathology report… “consistent with invasive ductal carcinoma.” And in these last 365 days, I feel like I’ve lived 100 different lifetimes. Newly diagnosed. Fertility planner. Chemo baldie. Breast conservation surgery advocate. Radiation breath-holding champion. Student. Educator. Survivor.

Now, the scars are fading. My irradiated skin is healed (although a little pale if you ask me). My energy is slowly returning. Life is going back to “normal,” whatever that is these days. I’ve been a little silent on the blog and on social media because a lot of my energy is going toward trying to remember what I told myself when I was first diagnosed…

YOU ARE NOT YOUR DIAGNOSIS.

Some days it’s difficult to remember who I was before cancer. Honestly, sometimes I come across an old photo and I don’t even recognize that girl! So I’m setting out to reinvent myself a bit. I’m prioritizing adventure, travel, learning new things, letting in old things that bring me joy, and not wasting one single second doing something I don’t feel passionate about…at least trying anyway.

I learned in the past year that I am fearless. I can do anything I put my mind to, but the one thing that scares me is missing out on doing the things I love and crave with the people I care about the most because of things I “should” be doing. Nothing is more important to me in this lifetime. From here on out, if it’s not a whole-hearted “yes!” for me, I’m not doing it.

You’ll likely be seeing a lot of different content from me in the future as I plan to continue the blog to share information about physical therapy, pelvic health, oncology, and other things that I feel everyone should know about. At heart, I am most passionate about teaching, sharing knowledge, and educating myself, so if you’d like to keep learning with me, I’m happy to share this space with you.

In the meantime, please keep me in your prayers as I have my “new baseline” mammogram today. As it usually works with true divine intervention, my scans are scheduled exactly on my 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis. While I feel deep down that everything’s going to look great, there’s always that tiny voice in the back of my mind saying “what if…” Honestly, I’m not sure if it will ever get easier to repeat imaging, but I’m choosing to see it as a privilege that I get to have these scans at all. God must want me here for something!

As my friend Kate says, “If you’re very lucky, life goes on.”

I hope you’ll do something that makes you feel wildly, beautifully alive today. Do it for all those we’ve loved and lost. I’m incredibly grateful for all of you.

Aloha ❤

It’s Going…

It’s Going…

by bridewitt ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

**Full disclosure – this post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission when you purchase from certain companies at no additional cost to you. You can read my full disclaimer here. Mahalo!

Hi, friends. It’s been a minute! I just wanted to share that today I am officially 5 months out of chemo! That sounds super gangster, right?!

Many things have changed since October, and I feel like there’s a bit more “normalcy” happening. I’ve gone back to work part-time and have had wonderful patients. I almost forgot how much I love patient care. I got vaccinated for COVID. I even got my first post-chemo haircut… What more can a girl ask for?

1st post-chemo cut!

I’m still having to remind myself that I’m only about six weeks out of radiation because some days I get so frustrated by the level of fatigue I feel after only a 6-hour work day. Cancer fatigue does not equal regular fatigue, y’all. It’s a level of physical and emotional exhaustion that I would not wish on anyone. Even a full night of sleep doesn’t quite seem to be enough to fully recharge. I’m not telling you this to complain, but just to remind you to be gentle with your friends and family who’ve had cancer. The long-term effects are not always visible, but they are very, very real.

I can’t remember if I’ve said this, but being officially “cancer free” and completing treatment has not been easy. Over the past year, I was 100% in survival mode, jumping through all the hoops to get this obnoxious little invader out of my body. Then treatment ended, and honestly nothing could’ve prepared me for the emotional tsunami I’ve experienced.

Don’t get me wrong, I am overwhelmingly grateful to have had treatment work so well for me. I know that I am lucky to have caught it early and that a cure was an option. Most days, I can find the joy in knowing I’ve survived and that my body is healing, but there are many days where I feel the very real fear of recurrence or a deep sadness that my life will never quite be as carefree as it was before. There are a lot of tears. I know that this will all get better with time and I’m learning to give myself grace, but the struggle is real, you know?

For now, I’m just taking it one day, one hour, one breath at a time and learning to find peace among the challenges. I’m thankful for all of you reading this. Don’t forget to send a little love to those you love today.

If you’re feeling extra generous, TNBC awareness month is still going strong until March 31! Right now, your donation to the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation will be tripled thanks to some generous sponsors!

Curious what current TNBC research focus is on?

  • Anti-androgen hormonal therapy options
  • Immunotherapy options (targeted treatments) for TNBC with specific basal-like tumors
  • PARP-inhibitors for TNBC patients with BRCA genetic mutations
  • Development of a TNBC vaccine (How cool! I love preventative medicine!)


DONATE HERE or make a purchase from Paris Laundry (a clean living site owned by a fellow #breastie who is donating 10% of all purchases to TNBC research this month) to help us advance TNBC research and find more treatment options for my fellow TNBC warriors!

Aloha ❤

And Just Like That…

And Just Like That…

by bridewitt ♥ 5 Comments

Today, February 10, 2021, is my last day of radiation therapy and my LAST DAY OF ACTIVE TREATMENT for triple negative breast cancer (*breathes huge sigh of relief*)!! It has been the most rollercoaster-y 10 months of my life and I am ready to close this chapter of pokes and stitches and breath holds forever! Or at least until my follow up scans in April….

Triple negative breast cancer is a scary diagnosis. The recurrence and mortality rates are much higher than for other breast cancers, especially in the first three years of remission. After five years, however, the average recurrence rate drops quite a bit. As part of my follow up care, my wonderful breast surgeon and I have agreed to do an annual mammogram (coming up in April) and also an annual MRI (planning for October) so that I’ll have some type of surveillance scan every 6 months for the near future. Because TNBC has a high grade (cells multiply rapidly), it’s important for me to continue self-monitoring by doing a monthly breast self-exam. Should anything return between scans, I’ll be able to catch it earlier (again, #KnowThyself).

I’m planning to transition back to work in the next few weeks. I’ll likely start out seeing patients part-time and slowly ramp back up to a full time schedule. I am also transitioning to our women’s health center from our regular outpatient PT department where I’ll get to work with more pelvic floor and oncology patients (this is really where my passion lies so this is exciting for me)! As daunting as it may be, I’m very much looking forward to getting back to patient care. I feel like I am living my best life when I’m helping people live theirs so I’m thankful to have an occupation where I get to do that every single day.

Taken on my regular walk down Mahalo St. – Mahalo means “thank you” in the Hawaiian language! Fitting for today’s post…

As much as I didn’t want to get all sentimental in this post, it’s impossible to reflect back on the past 10 months and not feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude. I’m overflowing with thanks for those of you who prayed for me, who supported me financially or by sending gifts and cards, who called or texted just to check in and talk with me about anything (especially anything that didn’t have to do with cancer).

I’m amazed by my excellent medical team – they are smart, smart cookies and always made sure I was well taken care of, not to mention the whole “saving my life” thing. I’ve met many women recently who weren’t as lucky as I was with their medical teams and were told things like “you’re too young to have cancer” or “let’s just watch it closely over the next several months.” Honestly, best practice should be to just refer for the dang imaging. I could go on a long rant about how insurance companies should NOT dictate what practices and procedures are recommended by doctors (who are the actual experts on medical things, by the way), but I’ll spare you. Instead, I’ll just continue to urge you to stand up for yourself and refuse to settle for a “wait and see” approach to your health.

I’m also incredibly grateful for my body for carrying me through all this treatment. It was hard, you guys, and it was hard for my husband to watch me go through it. But, now I know just how strong I am – how strong I can be – in case I ever forget. I’m really proud of myself for seeking care when I knew something was wrong, for taking the time to research integrative treatments to support my body during treatment and recovery, and for making exercise and stress relief a priority the whole time. It’s been a privilege for me to take time off work while recovering and also to have so many knowledgeable people (healthcare providers and other cancer thrivers/survivors) around me pointing me in the right direction.

Lastly, I just have to shout out my husband one more time. Truly, I could not have done this without him. He is the best guy around, and every day I’m lucky enough to spend with him is an absolute blessing. Looking forward to many more (less scary, more exciting) experiences with you, Justin ❤

Love this guy…

Don’t forget to find the joy in the simple things today. We all have our own struggles, but it’s important to look for the blessings in each day. Sending my love to you!

Aloha ❤

5 Things I Learned from A Naturopath

5 Things I Learned from A Naturopath

by bridewitt ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It’s no secret that I am freakishly in-tune with my body and that I also value knowing exactly what’s happening behind the scenes of my symptoms. Even before I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew something was off with my body, and I’d started to research root causes and naturopathic/functional medicine approaches to help me with some things I’d been experiencing. Then, cancer came into my life and between the 85 million appointments (not exaggerating…), I decided to hold off on seeing yet another practitioner.

Now that I’m approaching the end of active cancer treatment, I decided it’s time to get some additional support and testing done. A few things I was concerned about include the health of my digestive system, support for my thyroid, and restoring equilibrium for my female hormones. I chose to see a naturopath (ND) based on recommendations from friends and based on her experience level and social media content (never underestimate the power of social media!). Here’s a few things I’ve learned after my initial consultation and lab work:

Get that Good Gut Health

Chemo is designed to destroy cancer cells which are typically rapidly dividing and multiplying in our bodies. Well – guess what else rapidly divides and multiplies? Healthy cells in our digestive tracts! Side effects from chemotherapy tend to hit the GI tract hard and can include mouth sores, nausea/vomiting, heartburn, and diarrhea or constipation. Seeing as I had several of these symptoms during my 16 rounds of chemo, I knew my gut was going to need support and healing.

First of all, the GI tract is full of trillions of happy, healthy bacteria typically referred to as the gut microbiome. These bacteria help us to digest food and maintain a strong immune system. It’s all a bit complex honestly, but a lack in diversity of these bacteria can lead to a whole host of health issues, including mental health concerns.

My ND recommended a few important things to get me started: a good probiotic to promote microbiome diversity and a drink called GI Revive which supports the intestinal lining and promotes regularity. It’s also crucial to eat a diverse, supportive diet that includes plenty of fiber, vegetables and whole grains, and fermented foods.
*Side note – if I’d known GI Revive existed, I would have started it during chemotherapy. However at that time, I did use L-glutamine supplements which helped me prevent issues in my mouth and lower GI tract.

Altogether, I feel like things are coming back around to normal after chemotherapy with this added support. I imagine that the more my gut heals, the more I’ll see my immune system improve and I’ll be able to maintain low levels of inflammation in my body.

Clarity on Chemopause

I started chemo on June 9, 2020, and that was also the first day I received a Zoladex injection. Zoladex is a hormonal therapy designed to stop the ovaries from creating follicles which release estrogen. The ovaries have a high rate of cell turnover like the GI tract, so chemotherapy can lead to infertility if not protected by hormonal therapy. Modern medicine is truly incredible, and I’m grateful that as a 30-year-old woman going through chemo, I had the option to try to save my fertility in this way.

Joke’s on me though, because after 6 months of this hormonal therapy, I am officially in chemopause (a medically-induced menopause), and I have all the symptoms to show for it. I specifically asked my ND for post-chemo baseline labs for my estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels. No surprise here, but my labs confirm I’m in a menopausal state and that explains the hot flashes, joint pain, dyspareunia (learn more here), and amenorrhea…

Now, true menopause means a woman has had no menstrual cycle for >12 months. Being only two months out from my last Zoladex injection, I’d say there’s still hope for my ovaries to bounce back. Most women who’ve been on this type of treatment have seen their menstrual cycles return after 5-6 months on average. In the meantime, I need to be supportive of my body! I attempt to exercise 3-5 times per week (walking, resistance training, and stretching) to relieve joint pain and both my ND and OB/GYN have recommended vaginal moisturizers to prevent vaginal atrophy until my estrogen levels improve. (If this is TMI for my family & friends reading this – sorry, but it’s just #RealTalk!)

I’ll continue to monitor my labs every few months to be sure things are trending in the right direction. Chemopause isn’t necessarily permanent, so here’s hoping my body can pull through!

The Thyroid Needs to Thrive

About seven years ago, while I was deep in PT school, I began having unnatural fatigue. I ended up being diagnosed with an underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroidism). The thyroid gland produces hormones which help regulate our metabolism, and if the thyroid isn’t functioning optimally, you can have symptoms like fatigue, dry skin, hair loss, weight gain, constipation, or feeling like you’re always cold. Every body system relies on the thyroid so it’s a priority to take care of it!

Trying to find the root cause of my thyroid dysfunction has always been something I was curious about before my cancer diagnosis, and after treatment I wanted to know if there was: a) any additional support needed for my thyroid after chemo, and b) if there was an underlying cause for my hypothyroidism. After running a full thyroid panel, my ND diagnosed me with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, an autoimmune condition in which my own immune system is attacking my thyroid. She educated me that Hashimoto’s is actually the most common cause of hypothyroidism and affects about 5 in 100 people.1 It seems that Hashimoto’s is a combination of genetic factors and environmental factors such as food sensitivities or heavy metals toxicity.

My next step is to try to determine what may have triggered this autoimmune condition. The more I know about my condition, the better I can treat it or avoid any sensitivities that may make my condition worse. It might seem like I am seeking out more health problems, but my intent is really to understand my own body and how I can best support it to remain healthy and cancer-free. I will likely always have to be on thyroid medication, but I’d like to try to prevent the condition from progressing as much as I can (I plan on living a long life, you know?!).

Sometimes You Just Have to Supplement

In all honesty, I’ve never been a fan of supplements because I just can’t remember to take them every day! I now understand, however, that there are certain vitamins and minerals that I’m unable to get enough of through a vegan/vegetarian diet (like vitamin B12 which is only found in animal products), and also, based on my recent lab work, we found that some others (like my vitamin D and zinc levels) were significantly depleted for me during chemotherapy.

There are certain supplements I need to be cautious taking during radiation therapy as high levels of antioxidants (like those in vitamins A, C, and E) can interfere with the treatment itself. For now, I am supplementing with:

  • B vitamin complex to improve my energy levels and cognitive functioning
  • Vitamin D3 which promotes bone health and has been shown to reduce the risk of cancer metastasis
  • Omega-3 which helps to reduce inflammation and supports brain and heart function
  • Zinc which supports the immune system
  • A probiotic and the GI drink I mentioned earlier for gut health

It sounds like a lot, but I’m currently finding it very worthwhile. Some of the brain fog that started during chemo has lifted since I started supplementing more regularly, my GI system is more settled, and my hair is growing back much faster than I anticipated! Maybe eventually I won’t need so much supplementation, but I feel now is the time to be very supportive of my body and it’s healing.

The Cost of Collaborative Care is: Priceless.

I know what you’re all thinking – this all sounds expensive! And it is to some extent. Supplements can be pricey & aren’t covered by insurance like most pharmaceuticals. When providers don’t contract with insurance companies, the costs can add up. I don’t need to explain myself, but I just want to let you all in on my thought process at this point.

Seeing an ND and using supplements and acupuncture to support my healing have brought me immense benefits and peace of mind both before and after my cancer diagnosis. I personally feel that seeing a fee-for-service provider is excellent because they are not held to unreasonable standards that insurance companies often dictate. These providers can spend more 1:1 time with their patients, can recommend tests and treatments that can be run through insurance companies, and can provide a more holistic approach to your care. I personally feel it worth every penny to have this kind of care.

If you don’t have your health, you have nothing. This year my body has been through the ringer and besides feeling physically unwell, I saw my mental health and my relationships challenged. I was hardly able to concentrate on anything besides getting through treatment and managing my symptoms. My husband became a “caregiver” and most of our life revolved around what I could and couldn’t do with friends during a pandemic when you’re immunocompromised. I haven’t been able to treat patients for almost a year and so my sense of purpose got a little muddy at times.

Now is the time for me to heal from all of that. I am beyond grateful for good health insurance that got me through treatment without any debt, family and friends who contributed to my GoFundMe so I can seek out alternative care options as I continue to heal, and for my super-supportive coworkers who’ve donated time off and kept me in the loop at work so I don’t feel like a complete outsider. These things may seem small, but they can mean the world to someone living with a complex illness.

Again, my purpose here is to share my journey in case someone else going through this can benefit from what I’ve learned. Much of this info is very personal, and I choose to be open about this. I’ve said this before, but just because someone is considered “cancer-free” doesn’t mean they’re not still experiencing some of the long-term effects of treatment. We use fire to fight fires in cancer care and there are often side effects of side effects!

Please be kind! If you know someone in treatment (or if you know someone who may just need a little extra help), reach out today and see how you can support them – we’ve all got to have each other’s backs.

Aloha ❤

*This post is not intended to provide medical advice or recommendations. I am simply stating what has worked or been recommended to me on my personal journey. For more information, read my full disclaimer here.

Radiation & Reflections

Radiation & Reflections

by bridewitt ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It feels like it’s been a bit since I gave an update so here we go! I had my radiation simulation on January 5 which is basically a practice run for the actual radiation treatment. The radiation oncologist and radiation technicians set up the treatment table and placed stickers on my chest to help them line up the radiation beams during treatment. I was able to practice with the deep inspiration breath hold (DIBH) technique which is meant to draw the heart away from the chest wall as I inhale to minimize radiation exposure to the heart for people with left-sided breast cancer. It’s actually very fun – like a video game! They give you goggles, and as you inhale a bar rises up into a green box. The goal is to keep the bar in the middle of the box for about 30-45 seconds during treatment.

I started the actual treatment on Thursday, and it has gone well so far. The first session took about 45 minutes for the alignment and set up to be confirmed. The second treatment was much quicker (about 15 minutes) as the correct table settings were already known, and I just had to lie down and get treatment. The treatment uses 2 beams (one goes right to left across my left breast, and one goes from back to front in my left armpit), done separately, so that the whole breast receives treatment and no rogue cancer cells are left behind. I use the DIBH with each blast of radiation to protect my heart. The plan for me is to go daily (Monday through Friday) for 20 sessions (16 whole breast radiation, 4 boost to the tumor bed itself).

Learning about the process of radiation therapy has been fascinating to me! There is so much complexity and nuance from the set up, dosing, and treatment delivery. I have a lot respect for my providers and feel that I am in very good hands. How incredible is it to have these kind of treatments that are literally life-saving for so many people?!

As with any treatment, there are risks. The radiation can affect the heart and/or lungs which could cause some tissue fibrosis and the physicians/technicians do all they can to minimize this during their planning so there are no long-term effects on those vital organs. Skin irritation/breakdown is also a consideration so I am on a very strict moisturizing schedule using MyGirls Radiation Burn Cream every 3-4 hours and Aquaphor (with or without pure aloe vera mixed in) nightly. I can expect to see discoloration of my skin (tanning or redness) as treatment progresses. Other side effects can include fatigue and/or swelling of the treatment area.

Some other ways that I am supporting my body throughout radiation is to drink green tea 1 hour prior to each treatment. EGCG, which is a compound in relatively high concentration in green tea, has been shown to reduce damage to the body’s healthy cells during radiation. I am also continuing supplementation of vitamin D, a vitamin B complex, fish oils, and a few others that my physician ok’d.
**Disclaimer: Always check with your doctor about any medications or supplements you’re taking during cancer treatments as some supplements can reduce the effectiveness of chemotherapy or radiation.

Otherwise, I was able to start part-time work again on transitional duty. My department has some old paperwork that needs to be scanned into our electronic medical records system, and I couldn’t be more thankful to have an option to work outside of patient care as I finish treatment. I am trying to be very mindful about balancing my return to work with taking care of myself. The old me would have jumped in head first, but I feel a deep need to let me body guide my choices these days and it’s telling me to take it slow.

Justin & I are in the process of selling our condo and buying a new place! It seems like the right time for a change in scenery and a fresh start for us. Wish us luck in this process! When COVID settles, we’ll be taking applications for visitors…

I’ve also been reflecting a lot about getting cancer as a 30-year-old, “healthy” person, and I have two points to make about this right now. For one, I am a big believer in root cause medicine. I may never know 100% why I got breast cancer without any genetic factors or significant family history. However, I am working with a naturopath to determine if there is an underlying factor that heightened my risk for cancer in the first place. My ND is testing me for things like Hashimoto’s thyroiditis (an autoimmune thyroid condition…I have a history of hypothyroidism and a family history of Hashimoto’s), celiac’s disease/gluten sensitivity, heavy metals toxicity, and food allergies/sensitivities. This will likely be a long process of exploration, but I’ll try to update as I know more. I am a big proponent of integrative medicine and I will always strive to incorporate both natural and conventional principles into my care. I believe strongly that there is an important place for both in cancer care and recovery.

Secondly, I have been looking at cancer not as a detour in my life, but as a brand new path I’m setting out on. I realized that I feel this pressure to “get back on track,” but I prefer to see it as carving a new path for my life. It’s a scary feeling to know that I am not on the same “timeline” that I envisioned for my life before cancer, and yet I feel a sense of freedom knowing there is unlimited potential in this redirection. I am trusting God that this is the true path I was meant to tread, and that this is not the first or the last time I’ll be redirected to serve His purpose for me. I choose humility and I release control of my journey.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I’m going to take some time off social media and get a bit more introspective for a bit so I’ll catch ya on the flip side!

Aloha ❤

Stronger than Cancer

Stronger than Cancer

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

According to the National Cancer Institute, as of January 2019, the United States had 16.9 million cancer survivors and estimates that number will increase to 22.2 million by the year 2030.1 Although I’m still technically in active treatment until I complete radiation therapy, I’m now considered NED (no evidence of disease) a.k.a. “cancer free,” a survivor. While it would seem that being a survivor is just one big party, I’ve found myself seeing from a perspective that people who haven’t gone through cancer may not consider. Today, I have a few thoughts on survivorship that I wanted to share – it’s a long one, but an important one so get comfy…

Survivor or Thriver?

In the true sense of the word, a survivor is someone who’s overcome hardship or who copes well with the challenges they’ve been given. For some of us who’ve lived or are living through cancer, surviving doesn’t quite describe what it’s like to take on a complex illness and somehow maintain a semi-normal life. That’s why many in the cancer community now prefer the term “thriver” because they choose to continue to not only survive, but thrive through and beyond a cancer diagnosis. It’s not about getting through it without complications, but rather just living as normally as possible during treatment. Being a thriver means rolling with the punches, accepting what you have to do to get through it all, and getting to live how you want despite your diagnosis.

Being a thriver takes on a whole new meaning, though, for someone with metastatic/stage IV cancer. As of now, there’s no true cure for Stage IV cancer and treatment continues until the cancer doesn’t respond anymore. However, many people live for years on palliative treatment since research and treatments continue to advance all the time (#StageIVNeedsMore). In the meantime, there is always normal life running parallel to someone’s diagnosis. The world doesn’t just stop turning. I bring this up only to remind you that everyone’s diagnosis is different – not everyone can be cured, and it seems unfair to put “surviving” on a pedestal when, honestly, what it takes to thrive after a cancer diagnosis is so much more honorable.

If you’re interested in donating to support Stage IV breast cancer reseach, click here.

Mental Health after Cancer

Despite much stigma around mental illness in the past, I think the narrative about mental health issues is gradually (thankfully) starting to change. Many of us experience some degree of mental health concerns throughout our lifetime, but there are a few specific things that someone with cancer may go through after diagnosis and especially in the years after someone may be considered NED.

Scanxiety is the term used by cancer thrivers to convey anxiety around pending imaging (mammogram, CT/PET scans, etc.) or about the results of them. Imaging is the first stop on the cancer diagnosis train and so repeating this process every six months to a year can bring up a lot of emotions, even if it’s expected the scan results will all be normal. It’s important to recognize these feelings are normal and expected (especially in those first 5 years after diagnosis when the likelihood of recurrence is highest), and this would be a good time to throw your toxic positivity out the window. Here are a few ways to be there for someone preparing for follow up scans:

Don’t say….

“Everything will be fine…”

“You have nothing to worry about…”

“It’s just an MRI/CT/mammogram…”

“Stay positive – negative thoughts only lead to disease…”

Instead try….

“I know you’re worried about your tests/results, do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s ok to feel [insert emotion here] after all you’ve been through.”

“Do you want to go for a walk/coffee/other activity to take your mind off all of this for a bit?”

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, another anxiety condition, is widely publicized as something that combat veterans get after serving in war. Fun fact – anyone who has been through any kind of trauma can get PTSD. After being diagnosed with cancer, there are so many things that can trigger anxiety and panic attacks. A few of my triggers include hearing of someone young who died of cancer, upcoming medical appointments (particularly with new doctors or doctors that don’t know my recent medical history), and especially blood draws, but other events or news may trigger someone differently. Please be kind and allow space for others to feel their stress and anxiety.

Another thing I’d like to address is actually the first thing I experienced after surgery confirmed I was NED. Survivor’s guilt. I was surprised that I felt this since I was very confident in my doctors and myself that I would get through this (I guess when you’re doctor writes on your FMLA paperwork that your cancer is “curable” it leaves you mostly hopeful). But this “guilt” hit me hard and unexpectedly and so I’ve taken some time to sit with it and understand it.

Truthfully, I don’t actually feel guilty that I survived cancer. I know many other survivors and have met many amazing women this year who’ve overcome a breast cancer hurdle, and they never talk about feeling guilty to be alive either. So I came to the realization that what I’m feeling is actually empathy for those still in treatment and compassion for those who will always be in treatment or for whom treatment didn’t work. Being a survivor is a strange position to be in, but I’m hoping that my experience will only make me a better friend and clinician when I have the opportunity to support someone going through a similar experience.

Expectation of Transformation

The one last thing that’s been on my mind is this idea that because I’ve survived cancer, I must be a changed person. Cancer is eye-opening in many ways, that’s true, but it’s not like Cinderella putting on that glass slipper. I don’t suddenly have this new lease on life, and I don’t feel newly inspired to pick up the torch and run wildly toward some new life where every experience is profoundly meaningful and joyous. That’s great if someone else does have a big transformation, but for me (and likely many others) it’s just not the case. Instead, I feel a bit more reserved. I want to live a simple, mostly happy (sometimes messy) life focused on loving the people I surround myself with and learning as much as I can with whatever time I have left here on this Earth.

I don’t strive to be an inspiration and I hope everyone can recognize that a diagnosis isn’t a definition. I had cancer. I am not defined by that or limited to that. I share my experience because I hope it can help someone else who’s going through it. While I’ve learned a lot, I’m not going to dwell on the experience. Instead, I’ll take what I’ve learned and get back to my life, applying that new knowledge whenever I get the chance. I hope you’ll all hold me accountable to that.

Aloha ❤