For me, the turn of the year is a time of reflection, introspection, and setting my sights for the year ahead. If I’ve learned anything the past two years, it’s that you just can’t ever know what to expect, but I think it’s still important to have a vision, even if it’s just to be more intentional in your day-to-day life.
2020 was hard. That’s no secret, and I’m honestly still coming to terms with a lot of it.
2021 started with the last chapter in my treatments: radiation therapy. I will never forget the upheaval of emotions I felt on my last day of radiation in February. I had no idea how much I’d been holding my breath, unsure if it was all real or just a terrible nightmare. Well, turns out it was all very real, and I’m still working through it. I’m thankful to have found a good therapist who I trust to help me navigate the many emotional struggles that come with having cancer. I’m sure some things will get easier with time, but for now I’m just trying not to sweep it all under the rug like I’ve done with so many things before. I thank those around me who’ve been patient with me as I barely can get through a social situation without it all coming up.
Beyond all that, this has been a really excellent year. It was great to be able to travel again and Justin and I were able to get to Maui, Montana, Washington, Big Island and Kauai. Even before the pandemic, we’d been putting off these trips. Now, with best practices and consideration of others (because we still are in a pandemic), I just can’t and don’t want to postpone things anymore. Having cancer will do that to you. It’ll make you want to do all the things you’ve been “too busy” for.
I also went back to work and have had the opportunity to help many others thrive beyond their complex diagnoses, too. My job is truly so rewarding and I’m grateful that people have trusted me in their healing. I have always given a lot to my patients, and while I don’t believe in half-assing anything, I am still working on the finding the balance in being a patient advocate and staying on top of my own mental and physical health.
Besides that, Justin and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary, moved into a new condo that has exceeded all expectations, and had my dad here visiting for three weeks. We stood by friends going through triumphs and hardships, celebrated new babies being born, and spent quality time with family and friends.
The only thing constant in life is change. Not all change is good, but it’s definitely not all bad either. Last year I chose “joy” as my intention for the year. I think I did okay with finding joy wherever I could. It wasn’t there every moment of every day, but in each day, I found a little. Looking forward to finding more in 2022.
I actually think there will be a lot to look forward to this coming year! We have some more travels planned and I’m prettyyyyyy sure there won’t be any restrictions by then (right?! please pray and cross your fingers we can still go!). We have friends and family getting married and more babies on the way. I have some personal and professional goals I’d like to hit.
For 2022, I’m choosing “strength” as my intention. Strength of body. Strength of mind. Strength to uphold my boundaries under pressure. Strength to really show up in my relationships. Strength to remain present when distractions abound. Keep me accountable, will you?
With all that said, I hope you all celebrate safely this weekend! Another day is another something to celebrate. I wish you all health, love, and joy in the New Year, come what may!