Category: Personal Journey

Angel Cards

Angel Cards

by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

Last week, I asked my sister-in-law, Marisa, to do an angel card reading for me. For those of you who don’t know, angel cards are like tarot cards & she pulls cards intuitively from a deck that are representative of my life at the moment. She interprets them in the way she feels it is relative to your current situations.

She ended up pulling four cards for me….

#1 – Eight of Fire
Events moving at a fast pace. Delays are over. Many things happening at once.

If this card doesn’t resonate with my current situation, I’m not sure what would. Marisa told me that she feels that although all parts of my life are shifting quickly, this period will be a breakthrough or catalyst to level up. Because I was attracted to the red color on the card, she related it to my root chakra. The root chakra is your center of safety and grounding which explains why I’ve been craving so much time outdoors walking or with my feet in the sand/water/grass. With everything up in the air, I need to stay balanced.

#2 – Renewal
Review and evaluate. A favorable assessment of the facts. Time to move in a new direction.

The angel pictured on this card is the angel of life review – someone to help you make appropriate changes for your life. Marisa felt that this time will be a time of major transition for me. A time to grow, learn, and take action. A time to recognize what works and what holds me back in my life.

#3 – Eight of Air
An illusion of being trapped. A lack of self-confidence. Afraid to take action.

Again, this is a time for inner work and letting go of old fears. She recommended that I journal and work with a therapist to break free of some of my old mentalities that are holding me back. She recommended I pray for guidance during this time, because my angels (who are all around me, by the way) will help guide me to what needs the most change.

#4 – Solutions
Success that comes from objective compromise. Self-control and patience. Forgiving and healing energy.

The angel pictured on this card is the angel of memory. I felt this card brought everything full circle and is another indicator for the need of a balance point of view during this time. I hope to dig deep on this journey and find self-forgiveness and forgive others for things that I’ve been holding onto for years and years.

I really felt that these cards were validating for me as I begin this cancer journey. I know that the diagnosis serves a greater purpose for myself, but also for those closest to me.

If you’d like to have an angel card reading for yourself, reach out to Marisa on instagram @shopmaninimoon or check out her website here.

xo

April 2020

April 2020

by bridewitt ♥ 10 Comments

In case COVID didn’t have us all freaked out already, I’d noticed a small lump in my left breast during a self-check sometime mid-March and so I made an appointment with my OB/GYN.

“You know, let’s just get a picture,” she said. So they scheduled me an ultrasound on April 8.

The ultrasound tech was so sweet. She said, “I’m just going to look at your armpit now.” Then, “I’m just going to take a look at the other side.”
OK. So I already know something’s suspicious. Then, my radiologist said, “I think we should do a mammogram, can you do it right now?”

Sure. From there, I was scheduled for a biopsy at the end of the day.

I was sitting on the couch on the following Sunday night (Easter for the rest of you, but Palm Sunday for us Orthodox Christians), and I asked Justin if I should open the results on MyChart. When I read the words “consistent with invasive ductal carcinoma,” all I could really think to say was “f*ck.”
Very eloquent, I know.

After that, April has been a bit of a whirlwind, but in all honesty, things may not have moved so quickly if it weren’t for COVID, so I’m thankful.

I met with my surgeon who was kind and straightforward, provided me with plenty of statistics, and educated me on the likely treatment options. She was also the one to let me know my pathology results…

I have triple negative breast cancer (TNBC). The mass in my left breast is about 1.8cm and I have no lymph node involvement so we’re calling it Stage I for now.
Unfortunately, unlike other breast cancers which may be estrogen, progesterone, or HER2 positive, TNBC does not respond to hormonal treatment. It does, however, respond very well to chemo.

More than anything, the waiting is the hardest part. I only recently was able to speak with a reproductive endocrinologist about options to preserve my fertility during chemo. I’ll start the process to freeze some eggs ASAP and hope it’s okay to delay chemo for a few more weeks until that’s done.

I’ll meet with my oncologist for the first time this Tuesday, and I can’t express enough how relieved I will be to finally have a treatment plan ready to go.

Back in December, on my last night as a twenty-something, I remember it being really important for me to catch the sunset. Which we did, from my sister-in-law’s lanai, and it was beautiful. I still remember thinking that there would be a lot in store for me this year, and now I know that this year will mean radical transformation for me, both physically and emotionally.

Although, no one ever wants to say the words “I have cancer,” I do know that this is part of my journey on this earth for a reason. I can’t help but think that every decision I’ve made in the last year (changing jobs and working in our women’s health department) has made me more prepared than ever to take this all in stride. I’m grateful for the knowledge, resources and support I have. Keep me in your prayers.

xo