Round 3

July 11, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 2 Comments

On Thursday, I completed my third of four AC treatments, and it feels soooo good to know I only have to do one more round! Despite the spike in COVID cases on Oahu (& everywhere), Justin is still allowed to come to my appointments with me and I’m very grateful that he can.

Before I went into this round, I made up my mind that it was going to be easier than the past two. I wanted less nausea, less fatigue, and better appetite. Guess what, everyone – I got it. The mind is so powerful, and manifesting your goals and desires is an amazing tool no matter what you are going through.

My last AC treatment will be in two weeks, and then I’ll get two weeks before starting taxol treatments, which will be weekly, on August 6. While everyone says taxol is the easier one, I’m really not looking forward to weekly treatments, and I’m praying that it really is “a piece of cake” like my oncology APRN said.

Otherwise, there is not much else new. We are still social distancing quite a bit as COVID still lingers around. My immune system in the first week or so after chemo is really crappy, so it’s just better to be safe than sorry. My mom was hoping to come down to Hawaii the first week of August, but it’s looking like that may get pushed back a bit due to tourism restrictions.

That hospital parking garage lighting, though…

I still get to work from home a few days of the week, and next weekend I get to take an online continuing education course for oncology rehab that I’ve been wanting to take for months now!

I’d love to start up a more comprehensive oncology rehab program for our cancer patients at the hospital where I work. This is something that one of our inpatient therapists has been very passionate about and got me on board with as well. Hopefully, in the next year, we’ll have a good system to get more oncology patients in for baseline testing and guidance before, during, and after their treatments. I know that exercise has been one of the most important things for me during chemo, and I hope to help others understand the importance as well.

I hope you all have a really great weekend!
Just a little P.S.A. before I go…No matter what you hear on the news or Facebook, wearing masks is a VERY important step to reduce the contagion rate of COVID-19 (if it weren’t, none of your healthcare workers would bother with them, trust me). It’s true, the death rate from COVID is very low, but the high rate of contagion is the scary part. Please wear your masks to protect those around you – don’t be selfish. Mahalo!

Sending love to you all ❤

Celebrate

July 4, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 3 Comments

Happy 4th of July, everyone! Justin and I snuck out of the house to our favorite swell little spot in Waikiki today (IYKYK…) for some brunch and music to celebrate. We’ve been trying to have days of “normalcy” where we plan something that would resemble a “pre-covid” date, and this has made all the difference since I’ve started chemo.

Of course, we have to be cautious, make sure my blood counts are good, wear our masks, and avoid heavy crowds, but going out lightens the mood and keeps us in good spirits despite the many other responsibilities we both have right now.

Generally, I’ve been feeling really well this week and was even able to go into work for one day! A very big step (even if I was pretty exhausted by the end of the day)!

I’ve been trying to focus as much as possible on my mindset, beliefs, and visualizations (read: goals) surrounding my treatment and the cancer in general. I’ve been doing a lot of meditation and EFT tapping and have been very specific about the thoughts and words I use to describe my treatment and also my outcomes. The mind is a very powerful tool, y’all!

Today, even though there will be no official fireworks shows or parades, it feels more important than ever to celebrate every freedom and privilege we have after all of the ups and downs of COVID and cancer and life in general for the past few months…

I know that Independence Day has been a touchy subject this year and that a lot of people are feeling very mixed emotions about patriotism and our country’s politics as a whole right now. I will not downplay the very real pain that BIPOC and LGBTQ populations are feeling now. I do, however, want to reflect on some of the reasons I am grateful to be an American:

I am thankful to live in a country that allows me to speak my opinions freely and to use my voice to stand up for myself, women, and minorities.

I am thankful to live in a country where I can vote in my leaders, support them when they’re doing well, and challenge them when they are failing.

I am thankful to live in a country where I can have friends and family of any race, gender preference, religion, social status, or otherwise. I love you all!

I am thankful to live in a nation where we fight for equality, no matter how much work there is left to do.

It is not lost on me that everything I mentioned above may not be available to me had I been born elsewhere. These things we take as “fundamental rights” are not ever guaranteed, and I am so grateful to see the people I love around me speaking up to protect these rights and freedoms for all of the people in this country. May we all just try to love and understand each other ❤

I hope you all have an incredible weekend celebrating your freedoms! Please, wear your mask, & celebrate responsibly!

Tips for Chemo-Induced Hair Loss

July 1, 2020August 27, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

So far things are going pretty well after my 2nd AC treatment last week. I caught up on plenty of sleep, forced fluids and attempted some short walks. I feel better today and according to my lab work, my white count is looking good this time around!

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been working on my mindset around everything cancer, and as positive as I may come off on here, I forget to share that there are very real moments of anxiety and sadness that come with a cancer diagnosis. It’s important to me that I don’t put on a false front that “even though I have cancer, I’m totally fine.”

Yeah. There have been a few breakdowns here and there, especially this past week when my hair started falling out in big clumps in the shower. That’ll make a girl cry for sure. I have always been one to try different cuts and colors in my hair, but going bald wasn’t exactly on my list of things to try in my 30’s.

All jokes aside, it was a pretty emotional experience so I asked my husband if he’d shave it for me. Mind you, this is his first time using clippers and he nailed it! Taking control of the situation really helped ease my mind. Also, phone calls with your bestie and making inappropriate jokes really helps!

Here’s a few tips I’ve learned for chemo-induced hair loss:

Wash with baby shampoo for several weeks before hair falls out. My oncology APRN recommended this and I think it’s helped to reduce scalp sensitivity with the hair falling out.
Cut your hair in stages if you don’t feel comfortable shaving it right off the bat. I ended up loving my short pixie cut and it gave me an idea of what styles I can try as my hair grows back out!
Use coconut oil or lotion to moisturize the scalp after shaving and give yourself a little scalp massage to relax while you’re there!
Play around with fun head wraps, hats, and wigs OR just rock the bald look and show off your cancer warrior status. I just ordered some super cute, high quality head wraps from The Wrap Life and highly recommend (Click the link for $5 off your first wrap)!
Unofficial advice: Google pics of “bald female celebrities” and know you can rock that look too!

One more reminder as I wrap up today – It’s time to #FeelItOnTheFirst! Do your monthly self breast exam – it takes about 5 minutes and could be the most important thing you do all week! If you’re not sure what to look for or how to do one, check out my earlier post here!

Sending lots of aloha to you all today!

Round 2

June 25, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 2 Comments

Just got home from #2 of 4 AC treatments – that’s halfway done with the red devil! I’m so thankful to have had a relatively easy go of it with my first round and hoping this time goes smoothly as well.

Because my white blood cell counts tanked so hard last time, my oncologist decided to reduce my dose by 10% today. We’ll also do the normal dose of my udenyca injection tomorrow to boost those little WBCs right back up.

I was laughing at myself as I left the house today – it’s the first day in over a week that I’ve been in the car and definitely the first time I’ve worn makeup in like 2 weeks…what can I say? Quarantine life suits me!

I thought I’d talk a little bit about what I like to have on hand at home during chemo recovery for those of you who are also going through it or know someone who is. It’s really important to stay hydrated, eat enough calories, and manage side effects as best I can. Like Beverly Zavaleta said in her book, Braving Chemo, “You will not get a trophy at the finish line for having endured the worst of the side effects!”

Water! I make infused water or green tea, too. You can add a sugar-free flavoring if water tastes bad. I pretty much just continuously refill my 32 oz. water cup throughout the day so I can help my liver & kidneys detox the chemo meds.
Liquid IV – this is a super delicious electrolyte mix that you just add to water. Water alone isn’t always enough to replenish your body, so I usually have one of these drinks per day for at least 3-4 days after chemo.
Easy to make meals like soup or leftovers. BUT, be careful with leftovers! Be sure they’ve been refrigerated no more than 2-3 days and that they are reheated well to avoid any stomach upset or catching a foodborne illness!
Ginger ale, ginger candies, or ginger tea to help tone down any nausea.
Guided meditations or time set aside for meditation/prayer to help ease anxiety. I like the Calm app and am just about to start a free 21-day Deepak Chopra meditation series (they occasionally offer new 21-day courses, but they do have their older ones available for purchase as well). Check it out here.
Pilates/yoga mat – I always set aside time to move my body in some way. It helps my mind relax and helps to detox the chemo as well. Usually, for the first several days exercise looks like some light stretches on my mat or going for a short walk in the evening. HIGHLY recommend!
Entertainment – Netflix, books, journal, coloring book – whatever floats your boat! You’ll have a lot of time to kill.
All of my usual prescription medications and supplements – chemo now is made SO much easier with these medications (thanks, Zofran)!

My coworker gave me the Braving Chemo book after I was first diagnosed, and I would definitely consider it a great gift for anyone who’s going through chemo. Beverly Zavaleta is a physician who also went through breast cancer and has excellent tips to prepare for chemotherapy. It’s a super easy read and a quick reference guide for any side effects that may pop up.

Hope you all are having a great week! Wear your masks!

House Arrest

June 21, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 3 Comments

On Monday, I had a chemo follow up which was just to check in on blood work and how I’ve been feeling overall since my first AC treatment. In reality, I’ve been feeling well and only had a few issues in the first 3 days after chemo with some nausea and fatigue which I expected and did manage pretty well. Hydration is key, my friends.

What I did not expect was that my white blood counts came back “critically low” because otherwise I’d been feeling almost back to normal. It sounds like my counts weren’t able to come back up after my udenyca shot last week as they should have, maybe because we chose to administer a lower dose. I’ve been advised to stay home so I don’t catch any bugs (or God forbid, COVID), and my oncologist put me on a short course of preventative antibiotics just in case.

A quick note on COVID – cases are rising everywhere as we ease up on social distancing guidelines. PLEASE, please, please wear your masks. It’s a quick selfless way to take care of your neighbor, friends, and families. My anxiety is sky high with my immune system running so low, so do it for me or for anyone else you know with a compromised immune system!

Since I’m home, I filmed a little Pilates video for those of you who are also at home and might need a quick workout! Bear with me – I’m still working on a few things too (like video editing….how do I remove the background noise?!). But I hope this gets you moving and connecting with your body today!

Enjoy!

Hoping Justin & I can sneak out for a little drive around the island or walk later this afternoon. I’m scheduled for my next chemo on Thursday next week – please say a few prayers that my white counts have come up by then so there is no delay ❤

Medicine

May 25, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 3 Comments

On Thursday morning, I had my “chemo teach” with the oncology APRN. Basically, this is just education on the nitty gritty details of the chemo regimen I’ll be going through.

Since I saw my oncologist on May 5, she changed her mind regarding the best course of treatment, and is now recommending that I start with the more “aggressive” chemo medications first. This combo of adriamycin and cytoxan, a.k.a. the “red devil” (because of the color of the infusion), will be given every other week for 4 rounds (8 weeks). I won’t bore you with the major side effects, but this medication will lower my immune system significantly so the infusion is followed up with a shot of udenyca (formerly known as neulasta) which will stimulate my bone marrow to increase white blood cell production.

This was a hard pill to swallow for me since I’d thought we’d be doing the “less intense” chemo first and that I’d maybe get to skip the other if my scans all came back clear. This actually is the typical protocol so it shouldn’t have come as so much of a surprise, but I’d been preparing mentally for the taxol treatment so I got a bit rattled. It’s simply a reminder for me that triple negative breast cancer is aggressive and although I am stage I, it doesn’t mean I get to skip any steps.

While I’m ready to get the ball rolling and begin treatment, I am feeling a bit of resentment at the whole COVID situation at this point since I won’t be able to have anyone sit with me during my infusions, and Justin will only be able to drop me off and pick me up from my port surgery on Friday.

I’m also unsure how I’ll respond to the treatment and that anxiety comes in waves. I’ve been very aware of my mindset around treatment and there are definitely times when I have to remind myself that chemo is just medicine and that I’m fortunate that there is something that can heal me even if it could have some nasty side effects.

In other news, I started my hormone injections for the egg retrieval and it’s going well. I should be able to have that procedure done next week between Monday and Wednesday.

I’ve been trying to get outside and enjoy the sun and the beach as much as I can. I made one of my favorite vegetarian/vegan meals this week (here‘s the recipe!), and Justin’s been making sourdough bread which makes me very happy! I was able to go for a short hike after work yesterday with my old coworker, Erin, and I was really thankful to have time out in nature with once of my most supportive friends.

Tonight, we had dinner for our friend Jimmy’s birthday – it’s nice to be able to get together to celebrate something. I felt very touched that everyone offered to pray over me and we had a really great dinner. If any of you need some really delicious spices, check out our friend Kai’s spices here. ❤

I hope everyone’s having a nice Memorial Day weekend and that you’re all staying safe & healthy!

Ohana

May 20, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 7 Comments

This week has been really good ❤

On Monday, my CT, bone scans, and ECG/EKG came back all clear! This means I am a true stage I, and you just can’t ask for better news than that.

But Tuesday….I honestly barely have any words for how well my coworkers held me up yesterday. Over the past few weeks they’d put together a (vegan) lunch and the most thoughtful gift basket for me…complete with shower curtain hugs (!) and my very own new pelvis model (*AMAZING*).

I knew I lucked out getting a job at Queen’s (Ann Frost, if you’re reading this, I owe you BIG time!), but they continue to prove to me over and over that they are the true definition of good people.

Ryan – thank you, especially, for this prayer…

********************************
Ka Pule No Ka Malumalu ~ Ka Pule Lokahi
The Prayer of Protection
The Unity Prayer

Ka Malamalama O Ke Akua E Ho’opuni Mai ia Kakou
The Light of God surrounds us.
Ke Aloha O Ke Akua E Kipuni Mai ia Kakou
The Love of God enfolds us.
Ka Mana O Ke Akua E Ho’opakele Mai ia Kakou
The Power of God protects us.
Ke Alo O Ke Akua E Malama Mai ia Kakou
The Presence of God watches over us.
Ma Kahi A Kakou, E Hele Aku Ai He Akua No.
Where we are, God is.
In your name we pray, Amen. ❤

If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
Sir Isaac Newton

To my Queen’s Rehab ‘Ohana,
You really know how to make a girl feel special. I am so honored to know and work with you.

Mahalo nui loa ❤

Weekend Update

May 14, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 1 Comment

I know it’s not the weekend yet, but I’m off tomorrow so I can do about 8 million scans (jk, kinda), so it’s my weekend!

This week has been rather uneventful, thank goodness! I did have a consultation with a genetic counselor on Monday and just received my “spit test” in the mail today. I should get that back in about three-ish weeks. This tiny little saliva sample may seem small in the scheme of things, but in reality, the results will have a significant impact on my treatment course so if everyone could just take a quick sec and pray that I’m BRCA negative, that would be much appreciated!

I also just received two HUGE boxes full of hormones and needles. I’m actually pretty sure my security guard was pissed that the boxes were taking up so much space in his tiny office…but he better just be glad he doesn’t have to get all emotional and hormonal next week!

The hormones are actually part of the egg retrieval process that should begin next week sometime. The process is 10 days of injections, and then egg retrieval two days later after my ovaries have produced approximately 20 beautiful future hapa baby eggs. I sincerely apologize in advance to everyone in case I can’t stop crying for no reason next week…

Tomorrow, I’ll have a CT scan and bone scan to make sure the cancer is only in my left boob and a baseline EKG/ECG to check my heart function before I start treatment.

I’ll have a chemo consultation next week to learn about what I may experience during my next 12 weeks of infusions. Tentatively, I’ll have my chemo port placed on May 29, unless bumped by my egg retrieval which depends completely on my (usually undependable) menstrual cycle.

As I said before, my life does not only revolve around cancer….
I’m still going to work every day, but for the past several months I’ve been relocated from our PT office to a “manpower” job that has me calling back patients with negative COVID results. I feel like this has been a cool role to play in this pandemic in that I get to give a lot of good news! I also get to work with some really fun nurses and fellow PTs.

Today, the Hawaii Air National Guard did a fly over for most of the major hospitals on the islands. Truly, the doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, PT/OT/SLPs, housekeepers (and the list goes on…) who have been tasked with caring for these patients on the front lines deserve all the praise in the world and this was an awesome way to pay respect to them!

Today, I also taught a Zoom Pilates session with a friend/coworker from my previous job. I enrolled in a Pilates teacher training in February and being able to complete that and do all of the mat work at home during these “quarantine” times has been a real life-saver!

Unfortunately, Justin and I had to cancel our 2nd anniversary trip to Yosemite and Sonoma in September which is a huge, huge bummer. My chemo won’t end until sometime around October so we figured we better just reschedule. So much for getting off the rock this year….
I guess I will just have to Pinterest plan my dream vacation in the meantime!

Hope you are all having a great week – take care of yourselves!

_{Yosemite photo credit: https://www.sunset.com/travel/california/yosemite-national-park}

Your Monday Motivation

May 11, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 2 Comments

One of the things I hear the most from people when I tell them that I have cancer is “I’m sorry.” I’ve been reflecting on that statement a lot, and I had a really great conversation about this with my priest, Fr. Russell, a few weeks ago.

I get that cancer isn’t exactly the type of diagnosis that anyone wants in their whole lifetime, let alone just after they turned 30. While it is very scary news, and while many things about my diagnosis are uncertain, I’ve decided to take Fr. Russell’s (always excellent) advice and “struggle well.”

He told me that in Russia, instead of saying I’m sorry, people will tell someone with a new cancer diagnosis “thank you.” Thank you for struggling well. Thank you for fighting so that we can have more days with you. More experiences. More life.

Now, I’m not Russian, and I’ve never been to Russia, so I can’t verify that this is true, but I am certain that I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Up to this point, I’ve had a really excellent life and still do! I can only see one way through this, and that’s to be alive & well at the end of it!

I plan to wake up each day and choose to be optimistic and proactive. I plan to learn as much as I can so that in the end, I’ll be a better wife, daughter, friend, and practitioner. I plan to let myself feel crappy when I feel crappy, but to go out and enjoy the sun or good food when I feel good. I plan to nurture my relationships with others and my relationship with myself.

My goal is to motivate anyone reading this post to take a moment to look at your life in perspective. To nourish those things that are truly important to you whether that be your relationships, your career, your spirituality, whatever.

I hope that you’ll prioritize your health above many things. If we don’t have our health, then all the rest suffers too. Be proactive, not reactive! Eat delicious, whole foods. Move your body daily – go for a walk, lift weights, dance! De-stress with journaling, meditating, going out in nature, getting a massage. Get some sun. Practice gratitude. There’s always, always something to be grateful for.

If you have concerns about your health, don’t be afraid to speak up! Talk to your doctors, nurses, physical therapists (we are great listeners!) and ask them about anything that may seem off or that makes you worry. You know your body best and shouldn’t wait around for answers to come to you!

I wanted to thank everyone for such kind words, cards, gifts, and love sent my way! I am truly honored to walk this Earth with all of you ❤

The Plan

May 5, 2020August 7, 2020 by bridewitt ♥ 6 Comments

It feels like maybe it’s been 5 years since I’ve been diagnosed, but really it’s only been 3 weeks. Today, I was finally able to meet with my oncologist, who I really appreciated. She was smart, answered all my questions before I could ask, and could write out my plan upside down and left-handed!

So after reviewing my history and doing an exam, we got down to the plan. The plan. The plan my brain’s been craving, and the reason I keep waking up at 5am (probably). Who wakes up at 5am without an alarm, anyway?

Although she does agree that my tumor is very likely stage I, we will do a CT scan to confirm that it has not spread anywhere else.

We’ll also get my genetic testing done. The genetic testing is done to determine if there are mutations in the BRCA1/BRCA2 gene/s. Normally, these genes help to suppress tumor growth, but if there is a mutation, then the risk of developing breast cancer is about 70% over someone’s lifetime. For someone without the gene, the risk is about 12%.¹ It also increases the risk of developing cancer in the other breast later on.

I’ll also begin the process of freezing my eggs. I know I pretend I don’t, but I actually do want to make some cute hapa babies some day! Better to be safe than sorry.

After all of that, I’ll have a port inserted and will hopefully start chemo in about 4 weeks. My regimen will initially be 12 weeks of a nice little cocktail of taxol and carboplatin. Then, we plan to re-assess, and dependent on tumor size and genetic outcomes, I may need another 8 weeks of a different type of chemo, but could potentially go to surgery after that. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

In the meantime, some of the things I’ve been doing to boost my immunity and fight off these dang cancer cells naturally include:

Dietary changes – vegetarian, no meat / dairy / sugar / alcohol
Acupuncture – I loveeee my acupuncturist!
Visualization
EFT Tapping – get this app!
Resting ❤

Anyway, today I’m thankful for Facetime so Justin could come with me to my appointment *virtually.* Stupid, COVID.

Me & the hubs…aka future hapa baby daddy…

Sources:
1. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/genetics/brca-fact-sheet

Bri D. PT.

Pelvic Health PT & Breast Cancer Thriver

Category: Personal Journey